Longtime fans all know about the celebrated DS afghan that wanders through the time periods and houses willy nilly.
There’s another piece of set design that’s driving me nuts.
The Parallel Time Drapes.
Now, in their original appearance 1970 PT they make great sense. You want to move the drawing room into the 1970’s. Give it that aqua mixed with olive green punch. Modernize!
I loathe that color combo, but like harvest gold refrigerators, it was fashionable at the time.
But then you start to see that 1970s kitsch back in 1840 and in parallel time 1841. Who brought those drapes back down the Time Staircase and why aren’t they being punished for it?
My money’s on Julia Hoffman.
So I tried to set up a project for this site. That didn’t work. So now I am trying something else.
Have you ever read a book and really wanted to get the end?
So I started out and watching another full cycle of the show after a bit of a break, and I decided about midway through 1968 that I didn’t want to do that. But I didn’t want to stop watching.
So I cheated. And I’ve spent the last little bit of time watching the endings of each of the story line arcs. That usually meant watching about 10 episodes.
If you do it this way the Leviathan’s suck a lot less.
You can also make arbitrary decisions on when an ending actually takes place. For example, you can skip all that nonsense about the first Replacement Vicki if you decide as I did, that her arc ends after the attempted wedding with the sweet Victoria/ Elizabeth conversation that some fans have taken as an indication that Vicki is Liz’s daughter
And yes the body count ratchets up on all of them. Parallel time wins by a landslide for the sheer speed at which the bodies pile up. I think it’s easier to watch because we are not invested in these characters. We don’t have a long history with them. So stacking them up like cordwood is no big deal. It’s harder to lose the characters from 1840 and harder still to lose the characters from 1897 and 1795.
I am too impatient for the old format to hold, I guess. Too used to the speed of 21rst century TV.
Doesn’t mean I won’t ever go back to watching the entire show. I will. But right now all I wanted to see was payoff. So I jumped ahead to the end of the book.
(Apologies to those who are fond of the Leviathan arc) spoilers ahead.
Megan Todd’s journal 3 30 am.
Can’t sleep. I keep having this dream…these people are sitting at a big long table. With notebooks. And cigarettes. And liquor. Lots of liquor.
“So how do we follow up on Selby?”
“I know. Barnabas can be a Teacher of Monsters Really Awful to Everyone. No nuance. No torment. No guilt. The fans will love it!!!!!!
Jason, I mean Paul Stoddard isn’t dead. He sold a future interest in Carolyn to a bunch of spooks and a slimy monster.”
“Why’d I let you talk me into this?”
“OK. OK! You can bring Selby back. We’ll hit him with a car…and he won’t remember…”
“Look, I don’t think Jeff Clark can save us from this cluster****.
” so for the monsters we’ll use perv breathing. Plenty of menace and no chromakey.And an insta teen.”
“…and how do we save the town? Willie Loomis???? Very heroic (bangs head on desk) Angelique? Nicholas Blair? Sky Rumson?”
“Who in the hell is Sky Rumson?!!!”
Third guy : ” D’Anybody remember the werewolf ?”
“Gimme five episodes. I’ll fix it.”
“I’ve got it! Carolyn will date and marry the guy that *really* killed her father, while having visions that prove he did it!”
A cheer goes up. “Sold!”
Parallel Time: Quentin Collins’ journal 3:30 am.
I’ve spoken with everyone on the estate…also Cyrus, Buffie and that lawyer who had a day job as assistant director of a soap opera. (“Larry Chase” played by the same Ken McEwen shown in the credits)
And absolutely none of them can tell me why I constantly behave like such an emotionally abusive *****.
This is, by far the best costume I’ve ever worn. Pity I have absolutely no storyline.
Constance Collins Journal PT 1680. 3:30 am.
What a whiner that Quentin is. At least he got more than a day of screentime.
Liz’ Journal… 3 30 am
Jason came back. . He said…
“It’s hypocrisy time at Collinwood.”
Where is Matthew Morgan when you need him? This trash needs to be taken out.
Angelique’s Journal / book of spells 3:30 a.m.
I never know what I feel from one day to the next. The only constants in all the time periods and places , are the following :
Jossette and Victoria are faint hearted mealy mouthed passive aggressive little ***ches who are unworthy of him and must be destroyed…
… And since the universe never lets that happen, perpetual suffering is the only thing on the menu for Barnabas Collins.
( note by me. The end of 1840 does not count)